NDL Ringer Rankings: The Definitive List
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jwoo
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- Posts: 3782
- Joined: December 30th, 2023, 3:58 pm
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NDL Ringer Rankings: The Definitive List
We've all been there. Well, some of us? If you are like me and you spend a lot of time sifting through NDL stats for fun (you don't), you've probably noticed that every so often we see an occasional semi-useful (or at least, strangely positive) NDL player with shitty ratings.
I am here to introduce these unsung heroes to the masses. No, this doesn't mean you should poach them in the off-season (not every one of these fellas is a LaDon Gola, probably none of them tbh), but it does mean we can appreciate the hilarity that is the Nirvana Development League. Yes, this is where Kurt and Krist found Dave Grohl. Only true fake players are allowed on this list, meaning nobody who was hand-created by Ashes is eligible, even if they are NDL FAs where no team owns their rights.
10. I couldn't find 10 good players for this list.
9. Thor Ilgauskas - NAZ Suns - SF 25 6'8'' 212 C+ C D+ C+ C B
Key Stats: his name
His name is Thor Ilgauskas, god of thunder and foot injuries, he isn't actually good.
8. Donnell Santangelo - Raptors 905 - SF 30 6'8' 242 C C+ C- C- C C
Key Stats: 9.8 PPG, 1.3 TOPG, 47/82/35
As 3 and D as you can get without the 3 or the D, this sharpshooter out of UT-Martin shot a blistering 47% from the field in the NDL last season! While that may not seem like much, he played 28 minutes a night for the NDL champs and was actually extremely useful, averaging nearly 10 points and just 1.3 TOs in a role that was loosely defined as "stand over there." He got a ring for his troubles.
7. Earvin "Magic" Schechter - Cleveland Charge - C 32 7'0'' 241 C C- C C C+ D
Key Stats: 14.6 PPG, 9.6 RPG, 0.9 SPG, 0.9 BPG
Magic Schechter, a product of Florida, nearly averaged a double-double for the Charge in each of the past two seasons. He has nearly neutral stock to TO and is somehow above former SLNer Tony Bradley on the roster page. Seems pretty solid to me. A decent minor league ass despite the two TOs per game.
6. Jamie Peeler - Lakeland Magic - PF 31 6'10'' 230 D+ C- C- C+ C D
Key Stats: 7.2 RPG, 2.0 BPG, 0.9 TOPG
This guy averaged basically 2.6:1 stock to TO and was named second team All-Defense on a 60-win Lakeland team. They call him the Orange Peeler because he plays in Florida, eats oranges, and has a nasty fake tan. He attended Southwest Missouri State where he majored in Cattle Herding. Not rebounding, sadly.
5. Mason Beckman - OKC Blue - C 27 6'11'' 263 C D+ C+ B C+ D
Key Stats: 8.3 PPG, 9.9 RPG, 1.2 SPG, 0.9 BPG, 1.2 TOPG
Big Mase from Illinois State makes the list over his teammate Khalid Cho thanks to a better stock to to rate and decent defense. You're probably not calling him up, but wouldn't it be a cool story?
4. Martin Ontko - Raptors 905 - PG 34 6'3'' 187 C C+ B+ C C- C
Key Stats: 10.5 PPG, 1.6 TOPG, 44% FG
We are going to make Ontko the 905's head coach once he retires because this legend out of the UW-Green Bay Phoenix program has been turning in solid NDL seasons for a decade. He's played the last NINE seasons with the 905 and regularly averages less than two TOs per game — this is actually hugely important because fewer TOs = more possessions = more opportunities for your NDL delegates to COOK! Martin, we love you and might want to give you an honorary Raptors LLE at some point, but you are too good at mentoring the youths.
3. Kris Van Exel - Salt Lake City Stars - C 29 7'0'' 232 C D+ C C+ B- B
Key Stats: 9.3 PPG, 10.6 RPG, 1.2 SPG, 0.9 BPG, 1.4 TOPG
This mountain of a man wins the LaDon Gola award for "only fake big man in the NDL who has ratings that actually look passable on an NDL bench." He's poachable, ladies! He doesn't look great, but shit, he could probably have played on the Rockets last year.
2. Keyon "Fox" McCloud - RGV Vipers - C 25 6'10'' 279 C- C- D- C C+ C
Key Stats: 4.8 PPG, 10 RPG, 2.0 BPG, 1.4 TOPG, 46% FG
This guy might be the best butt in the NDL! It's not saying a ton, but Keyon is gobbling blocks and boards at a strong rate for the 63-win Vipers and is only 25 years old. Not saying he deserves a shot, but those blocks and handles are pretty solid! Nice player. Cult hero in the Rio Grande Valley region.
1. Jacquez Shirley - Fort Wayne Mad Ants - PG 35 6'2'' 194 C- B- C+ C+ D C
Key Stats: 19.6 PPG, 1.6 TOPG, 45/90/33
This guy has been one of the NDL's best ringers for a while — I guess Real Guy Ian Clark retired but Mr. Shirley is still kicking, averaging a good chunk of points for the Mad Ants, conserving possessions, and getting shit done. He'd probably be a fourth string guy for vibes in SLN, but in the NDL he is a living legend. His son Jaime Jacquez Shirley coming soon, as is another stud from Maine in the 2025 draft.
GET YOUR LLE OFFERS IN!
I am here to introduce these unsung heroes to the masses. No, this doesn't mean you should poach them in the off-season (not every one of these fellas is a LaDon Gola, probably none of them tbh), but it does mean we can appreciate the hilarity that is the Nirvana Development League. Yes, this is where Kurt and Krist found Dave Grohl. Only true fake players are allowed on this list, meaning nobody who was hand-created by Ashes is eligible, even if they are NDL FAs where no team owns their rights.
10. I couldn't find 10 good players for this list.
9. Thor Ilgauskas - NAZ Suns - SF 25 6'8'' 212 C+ C D+ C+ C B
Key Stats: his name
His name is Thor Ilgauskas, god of thunder and foot injuries, he isn't actually good.
8. Donnell Santangelo - Raptors 905 - SF 30 6'8' 242 C C+ C- C- C C
Key Stats: 9.8 PPG, 1.3 TOPG, 47/82/35
As 3 and D as you can get without the 3 or the D, this sharpshooter out of UT-Martin shot a blistering 47% from the field in the NDL last season! While that may not seem like much, he played 28 minutes a night for the NDL champs and was actually extremely useful, averaging nearly 10 points and just 1.3 TOs in a role that was loosely defined as "stand over there." He got a ring for his troubles.
7. Earvin "Magic" Schechter - Cleveland Charge - C 32 7'0'' 241 C C- C C C+ D
Key Stats: 14.6 PPG, 9.6 RPG, 0.9 SPG, 0.9 BPG
Magic Schechter, a product of Florida, nearly averaged a double-double for the Charge in each of the past two seasons. He has nearly neutral stock to TO and is somehow above former SLNer Tony Bradley on the roster page. Seems pretty solid to me. A decent minor league ass despite the two TOs per game.
6. Jamie Peeler - Lakeland Magic - PF 31 6'10'' 230 D+ C- C- C+ C D
Key Stats: 7.2 RPG, 2.0 BPG, 0.9 TOPG
This guy averaged basically 2.6:1 stock to TO and was named second team All-Defense on a 60-win Lakeland team. They call him the Orange Peeler because he plays in Florida, eats oranges, and has a nasty fake tan. He attended Southwest Missouri State where he majored in Cattle Herding. Not rebounding, sadly.
5. Mason Beckman - OKC Blue - C 27 6'11'' 263 C D+ C+ B C+ D
Key Stats: 8.3 PPG, 9.9 RPG, 1.2 SPG, 0.9 BPG, 1.2 TOPG
Big Mase from Illinois State makes the list over his teammate Khalid Cho thanks to a better stock to to rate and decent defense. You're probably not calling him up, but wouldn't it be a cool story?
4. Martin Ontko - Raptors 905 - PG 34 6'3'' 187 C C+ B+ C C- C
Key Stats: 10.5 PPG, 1.6 TOPG, 44% FG
We are going to make Ontko the 905's head coach once he retires because this legend out of the UW-Green Bay Phoenix program has been turning in solid NDL seasons for a decade. He's played the last NINE seasons with the 905 and regularly averages less than two TOs per game — this is actually hugely important because fewer TOs = more possessions = more opportunities for your NDL delegates to COOK! Martin, we love you and might want to give you an honorary Raptors LLE at some point, but you are too good at mentoring the youths.
3. Kris Van Exel - Salt Lake City Stars - C 29 7'0'' 232 C D+ C C+ B- B
Key Stats: 9.3 PPG, 10.6 RPG, 1.2 SPG, 0.9 BPG, 1.4 TOPG
This mountain of a man wins the LaDon Gola award for "only fake big man in the NDL who has ratings that actually look passable on an NDL bench." He's poachable, ladies! He doesn't look great, but shit, he could probably have played on the Rockets last year.
2. Keyon "Fox" McCloud - RGV Vipers - C 25 6'10'' 279 C- C- D- C C+ C
Key Stats: 4.8 PPG, 10 RPG, 2.0 BPG, 1.4 TOPG, 46% FG
This guy might be the best butt in the NDL! It's not saying a ton, but Keyon is gobbling blocks and boards at a strong rate for the 63-win Vipers and is only 25 years old. Not saying he deserves a shot, but those blocks and handles are pretty solid! Nice player. Cult hero in the Rio Grande Valley region.
1. Jacquez Shirley - Fort Wayne Mad Ants - PG 35 6'2'' 194 C- B- C+ C+ D C
Key Stats: 19.6 PPG, 1.6 TOPG, 45/90/33
This guy has been one of the NDL's best ringers for a while — I guess Real Guy Ian Clark retired but Mr. Shirley is still kicking, averaging a good chunk of points for the Mad Ants, conserving possessions, and getting shit done. He'd probably be a fourth string guy for vibes in SLN, but in the NDL he is a living legend. His son Jaime Jacquez Shirley coming soon, as is another stud from Maine in the 2025 draft.
GET YOUR LLE OFFERS IN!
free healthcare has never been more important
-
jwoo
- General Manager
- Posts: 3782
- Joined: December 30th, 2023, 3:58 pm
- Location: French Canada
- Contact:
NDL Ringer Rankings: The Definitive List
damn this got less engagement than the NDL does in general sadface
free healthcare has never been more important
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