The 13 most SLN-coded things about the 2026 NBA Draft
Posted: June 27th, 2025, 9:15 pm
I have emerged from the depths of the IRL draft with some thoughts, which are below. See the title of the article.
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1. Ace Bailey refused to report to the Jazz until he received an inside camp. Notoriously grouchy Jazz management did not give a fuck.
2. The tanking Nets rostered five first-round draft picks, but four of them were between 19 and 27 and the best one was No. 8. Too bad Egor Demin can’t go to the NDL anyway.
3. The Hornets selected Ryan Kalkbrenner to create the “Kalk and Ball” pick and roll duo.
4. The Pelicans, under new management, made a terrible trade with Jesse the Hawks and inexplicably traded away a potential top five pick to get Derik Queen, a player they could have just taken six picks earlier if it was that important.
5. The Nets picked Ben Saraf, who a certain SLN GM swears has 100 potential, he’s only showing C pot. Seriously, he crushed the NDL this season.
6. Toronto drafted Collin Murray-Boyles.
7. Joan Beringer got picked 17th and Walter Clayton got picked 18th, just in the wrong sequence.
8. It turned out big butts were extremely en vogue, with CMButt and Joan two of six big men selected between 9 and 20.
9. After a significant amount of badgering to get into the 20s, the Kings finally got Nique Clifford, insisting the pick was only worth 500 RP because the Thunder didn’t have enough roster spots anyway.
10. Hansen Yang got picked way higher than anyone expected.
11. A funny name guy got picked with the last pick of the first round. The Clippers swear he’s the steal of the draft!
12. It took an entire day to get to the start of the second round, which nobody gave a fuck about.
13. Less than 24 hours after the draft, the Raptors fired their team president.
***
1. Ace Bailey refused to report to the Jazz until he received an inside camp. Notoriously grouchy Jazz management did not give a fuck.
2. The tanking Nets rostered five first-round draft picks, but four of them were between 19 and 27 and the best one was No. 8. Too bad Egor Demin can’t go to the NDL anyway.
3. The Hornets selected Ryan Kalkbrenner to create the “Kalk and Ball” pick and roll duo.
4. The Pelicans, under new management, made a terrible trade with Jesse the Hawks and inexplicably traded away a potential top five pick to get Derik Queen, a player they could have just taken six picks earlier if it was that important.
5. The Nets picked Ben Saraf, who a certain SLN GM swears has 100 potential, he’s only showing C pot. Seriously, he crushed the NDL this season.
6. Toronto drafted Collin Murray-Boyles.
7. Joan Beringer got picked 17th and Walter Clayton got picked 18th, just in the wrong sequence.
8. It turned out big butts were extremely en vogue, with CMButt and Joan two of six big men selected between 9 and 20.
9. After a significant amount of badgering to get into the 20s, the Kings finally got Nique Clifford, insisting the pick was only worth 500 RP because the Thunder didn’t have enough roster spots anyway.
10. Hansen Yang got picked way higher than anyone expected.
11. A funny name guy got picked with the last pick of the first round. The Clippers swear he’s the steal of the draft!
12. It took an entire day to get to the start of the second round, which nobody gave a fuck about.
13. Less than 24 hours after the draft, the Raptors fired their team president.
